Instead of a “traditional” Bar Mitzvah and celebration at our synagogue in Seattle, Asher celebrated his Bar Mitzvah in Israel at the Western Wall as part of a 2+ week trip with family and friends. Our itinerary involved traveling through much of Israel and some of Jordan – with 27 attendees at the Bar Mitzvah and 18 traveling along with us through the whole trip. Ages ranged from 3 years old – 80 years old with varying levels of physical ability, with some first time visitors and others who had been many times – and everything in between – so we had to plan around that. Brian’s friend from college (Avi Green runs Authentic Israel, a large Israel trip operator – he knows every potential way to travel through Israel and Jordan, plus all the hotels, restaurants, etc.) helped plan everything and everyone was excited to attend. It feels like lucky number 18 shined through and an unbelievable, once in a lifetime experience was had by all!
BAR MITZVAH CEREMONY
TRIP PHOTOS
TRIP VIDEOS
Below, we share the kids’ highlights, the story of our trip with the itinerary details, some notes from Asher, why not a “typical” Bar Mitzvah in Seattle, surprises, learnings / what we wish we would have done differently, and planning notes. We also included Asher’s D’var Torah and our speech for him.
Asher’s Top 5 Things
- Aqua Kef waterpark in Tiberias
- Exploring Hezekiah’s water tunnels in Jerusalem
- Archaeology Dig at Beit Guvrin
- Off-roading, slot canyon, and sandboarding in Wadi Rum
- Dead Sea floating!
Max’s Top 5 Things
- Aqua Kef waterpark in Tiberias
- Off-roading, slot canyon, and sandboarding in Wadi Rum
- Exploring Hezekiah’s water tunnels in Jerusalem
- Dead Sea floating!
- Archaeology Dig at Beit Guvrin
The story and itinerary
March 30, Thursday. We took an evening red-eye to Atlanta to connect to a direct flight to Tel Aviv (12hrs). There weren’t many great options, but we wanted to be on a SkyTeam carrier for upgrades, lounges, and luggage allowances to take advantage of Brian’s Delta status. It was the best of the painful options. We landed at 5:30am and spent a few hours in a nearby hotel to relax before departing. This flight option also allowed us to fly with Brian’s mom and sister’s family.
March 31, Friday. 2:30pm departure on Delta from ATL to TLV . . .
Jerusalem
Saturday, April 1. We landed at TLV around 9am and met our immigration guide and airport pickup to head to Jerusalem. After checking in at the Prima Kings hotel near the Old City, we tried our best not to sleep! So exciting as everyone arrived. Our hotel was filled with very religious (and large) families from Israel with kids running everywhere.
We walked over to the Old City to get lunch, but given it was both Ramadan and Shabbat, not much was open. We were also wearing our airport clothes and had no hats, so everyone got a little sunburned. We found an Israeli lunch spot and of course it involved falafel and shawarma. After eating and wandering around, we walked back and relaxed a bit before dinner. Dinner was at the First Station (an old train station, no longer in service, built by the Ottomans to connect Jerusalem with the port and elsewhere) with lots of little restaurants and stalls, all outside.
Sunday, April 2. We met our guide, Vadim Sergyenko, who we liked immediately. Vadim is a young, smart, kind, guide – super knowledgeable — and he is a drummer in a death metal band on the side. Amazing.
Everyone on the trip got their embroidered bucket hats with Asher’s Bar Mitzvah logo. No more sunburns! We entered the Old City through the Jaffa Gate and walked the ramparts of the old city walls, learning about Jerusalem and its history along the way to the Zion Gate. After a lunch in the Jewish quarter, we went underground in the Kotel Tunnel Tour.
This is a part of the Western Wall complex that requires a special tour, where they’ve excavated more of the Wall and other history, and they don’t clean out the notes as often. We all had brought notes from home, from friends, and loved ones that we placed lovingly into the crevices of the wall. There’s a new synagogue in the complex where Asher led the group in singing a prayer. Everyone had tears!We then visited the part of the Wall you see in pictures. It happened to be Palm Sunday, so we found many Christian tour groups walking the Stations of the Cross with large palm fronds.
We then explored theCity of David excavations and got wet walking through Hezekiah’sTunnels. The kids absolutely loved the tunnels! We went back to our hotel before a dinner out on Ben Yehuda street. We ran into several families throughout the day who we knew from all over the US (and different times in our lives) randomly!!
Monday, April 3. Bar Mitzvah Day! Our family met our photographer at 8am at the Jaffa Gate and took loads of photos walking through the Old City before it got crowded. At 9am, we met the rest of the crew for the Bar Mitzvah at Robinsons Arch. Our Rabbi, the amazing Rabbi Stacey, began the ceremony. We all got to stand close together and experience the most spiritual and special Bar Mitzvah we have ever been to. Asher wore his Papa’s talis, presented to him by Nana. Almost everyone who attended had a part in the ceremony. Asher was confident, composed, and well-practiced. The Bar Mitzvah concluded with Asher and all of his cousins leading the Israeli national anthem, Hatikvah. So special! We all ate together at a lunch Reception at Holy Café in the Jewish Quarter, followed by some time for shopping in Cardo where Asher and Max both picked out their own Talit that they will use for the rest of their lives.
We continued a tour of the Jerusalem, ending at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, a fascinating site “competitively” managed by multiple Christian denominations — and the home of Jesus’s tomb.
After a brief respite at our hotel, we went out to the Eretz Bereshit where we rode camels through the desert to a tent, learned about the time of Abraham, baked pita bread over a fire, and had a dinner feast in a Bedouin tent.
Tuesday, April 4. We began the day planting a few trees and exploring Neot Kedumim Biblical Park where they’ve tried to recreate the biblical landscape. After lunch, we participated in a hands-on archaeology dig at Beit Guvrin. Highlight for the kids! We stopped for ice cream at Rob’s uncle’s spot in Modi’in. Another highlight! We had a quick dinner on our way to see a night light show in the Old City on the walls of the Tower of David (Tower of David Light Spectacular). Really cool experience.
Wednesday, April 5. After checking out of our hotel, some of the group went to a docent-led tour at the holocaust remembrance center, Yad Vashem, where Asher was paired with a holocaust victim, also named Asher and a similar age, who was never able to have a bar mitzvah. Asher was able to learn about him and consider the experience through his eyes. To see Yad Vashem you must be 10 or older and for some of our group it would be too emotional so not everyone was able to attend. Our tour guide was incredible and adjusted the tour towards the young kids we had with us – it was so special and educational.
Ein Gedi / Masada / Dead Sea
We drove from Jerusalem to the Ein Gedi Kibbutz Hotel where we checked in, took in some swimming, and had our Passover seder. It was quite an experience to have an outdoor seder in the desert where the ancient Jews actually wandered. The kibbutz was filled with flowers and was beautiful, with so much space to play. The rooms were simple and clean but we all loved staying there. The kids were able to run loose, swim, play mini golf, ping pong and more. We even set up an outdoor theater on Brian’s laptop for them to watch a movie at night. The breakfast and dinners were included and had so many amazing choices. Each night the kids danced and sang at dinner. Such a joyous feeling!
Thursday, April 6. Of course, our bus broke down (first, but not last issue with a bus on our trip – but one of the few mishaps), so we got a late start and weren’t able to hike up to the top of Masada (so we took the cable car). We spent the afternoon learning about Masada and exploring before going to a feast lunch at Taj Mahal (where we really missed pita bread! Not the same with Matza). After lunch, we went to the Dead Sea and floated, everyone covered themselves with dead sea mineral mud and those are some of the best pictures. Max wrote an essay about it for school. After a dinner back at the kibbutz, the kids had movie night (Spaceballs!).
Driving / Wadi Rum / Petra and Jordan
Friday, April 7. We got a later start, and after breakfast were able to relax, play putt putt, go to the pool, and Brian got a quick 30min massage at the lovely day spa. Then we set out on a long drive to the Aqaba border crossing by Eilat. The border crossing was quite the ordeal, we had to show our passport maybe 7-8 times and walk across ~250m to Aqaba where we met our Jordanian guide and bus. Jordan is so close, but looks so different than Israel. No more trees and flowers everywhere, no more parks, people are more covered up, and there is less diversity — Israel felt like more of a melting pot (Christians, Muslims, Jews, black, white, Asian, and more) and all sorts of clothing is worn. Our guide was “OK” but older – he didn’t mesh with our excited/high energy and age-range group vibe. Of course, a few minutes after pulling away from the border, our bus’s air conditioning broke (and it was hot!) – luckily they were able to get us a new bus in ~30 minutes. We switched and were on our way.
After a long drive to Wadi Rum, we had a quick lunch before heading out to explore Wadi Rum and go sandboarding (with old snowboards, but on sand). We were told we would be riding in jeeps through the desert. Turned out the jeeps were pickup trucks with benches in the bed where we rode. Everyone loved riding so fast in the desert over no roads, seeing nothing but sand for miles (other than Bedouin tents and a few random camels). After a brief hike, we climbed and explored a giant wadi slot canyon with old inscriptions/art from early peoples Really beautiful and cool. Then we went sandboarding — was so fun! They gave us old snowboards that you could stand up on or sit on after you climbed up the enormous sand dune (with crazy loose sand in the driest desert)! We boarded the trucks again to drive even faster through the desert to our bus as the sunset. So much excitement.
Then we drove for a while to Wadi Musa (Petra) where we checked into the Petra Canyon Hotel. We ate dinner at the hotel. Jordanian food is similar to Israeli food (but a little less delicious and fresh). Petra is most famous for its appearance in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Saturday, April 8. Petra was spectacular. Our old and tired guide didn’t want to climb up to see the extra sights, so our group split up. It was very hot (especially for us West Coasters), so we explored a ton but might have seen more with had it been a bit cooler or with more encouragement. Of course, ice cream helped. That afternoon we went back to the hotel to swim, have dinner, play shesh besh and smoke the hookah on the patio of the hotel while hearing the call to prayer and wearing these giant warm blanket robes the hotel waiter put on us
Sunday, April 9. Long trip back to Israel via Amman. We stopped to explore Jerash, one of the more impressive/preserved Roman cities. Going back through the border was very eye opening. Once on the Israel side, everything felt different. The Israelis were kind and joking around. When my dad told one he felt tired, they had him skip the line and go ahead. The reality of how desolate and intense our experience of Jordan was dawned on us and relief came over everyone to feel more comfortable again — and to reunite with Vadim. After more driving, we arrived in Tiberias on the shores of the Sea of Galilee and checked into the Sofia Galilee.
Tiberias
Monday, April 10. We started our morning with a water adventure at Aqua Kef, an amusement park on the Sea of Galilee with tons of water slides, water trampolines, obstacle courses and more (think “bouncy place” but over water). Almost everyone from our group, including the 80 year old, participated.
Our tour guide has a friend who works on a kibbutz, Amiad, that makes wine from fruit (not grapes – think pomegranates and lychees), so we made a detour to visit and taste! They told us about their unusual winery and we all drank (except the kids . . . mostly) and bought lots of wine for the rest of our trip.
We entered Tzfat, the mystical centre of Judaism (Kabballah) and one of Judaism’s holiest cities (alongside Jerusalem, Tiberias, and Hebron). We hit a little bad weather for the first time on our trip of weather perfection. IT began to rain a bit but the kids sang “I’m singing in the rain” and danced in the streets while smiling from ear to ear, so it ended up being super fun. Our first stop was an art gallery where the artist, David Friedman, sat us down and explained his super cool Kabbalah style art (with a Grateful Dead influence, we purchased a print of this one). We were supposed to visit a synagogue afterwards, but had run short on time due to the winery and weather, so instead we explored and shopped in all of the galleries and then headed back to the bus.
We ended the day in Tiberias with a brief exploratory cruise on the Sea of Galilee. We had dinner at Pagoda, normally an Asian restaurant but for Passover, a steakhouse. Surprisingly delicious. Our hotel here was quite nice with a great roof bar where we drank our wine from the earlier visit.
Tuesday, April 11. We begun the day rafting a surprisingly fast River Jordan, ending with one big waterfall/rapid. Next stop was a Druze home in Ein Kinya, where we learned about Druze culture/religion/life and had the most delicious homemade lunch.
We continued to explore the Golan Heights, including the Valley of Tears, site of an epic tank battle. We ate dinner at our hotel and took a walk to explore Tiberias, including its lovely waterfront promenade.
Final Days: Exploring Bet Shearim, Haifa, Tel Aviv
Wednesday, April 12. Left Tiberias for an exploration of the catacombs at Beit Shearim, where many famous Talmudic rabbis from the 1st/2nd century are buried in catacombs dug into the mountainside. We walked through many caves to see 100’s of sarcophagi in incredible condition despite all of them having been plundered by thieves throughout history. From there, it was a brief drive to Haifa, Israel’s most diverse (and Seattle-like, given its hilly, seaside location) city, where we [briefly, given weather] explored the Bahai Temple Gardens (Haifa is the center of the Bah’ai faith and had lunch (and ice cream). From there, we continued south to visit the Ayalon Institute where we learned how the Israeli pioneers in the 30s/40s secretly built a large munitions factory hidden from the British) and its underground factory. A brief drive later we were in Tel Aviv checking into the Crowne Plaza Beach hotel (older, but right on the beach with an indoor/outdoor pool), saying farewell and thank you to our guide and driver – we were now on our own for two final days in Israel’s technology and main secular beachside city, Tel Aviv.
Thursday and Friday, April 13-14. Tel Aviv is such a fun city! It is less religious, had perfect weather (sunny and 70s), and is so vibrant. Along the beach there are free outdoor gyms, ninja courses, and restaurants, cafes, and bars. Everyone is exercising from big dance classes to soccer, to beach volleyball. So many fit, beautiful people. We spent some time walking to the markets, hanging out at the beach, exploring the fort and area around old Yafo/Jaffa, had a great lunch at Dr. Shakshuka, and great dinners Greco, Lala Land, and Ernesto. However, we mostly just had fun hanging out on the beach. It was a great way to end our trip. The last night we walked to a delicious Italian restaurant and Gelato to celebrate a friend’s birthday.
Return side trip: 30 hours in London
We could have spent an extra day in Israel, or had an extra day back in Seattle to re-integrate to normal life. Instead . . .we woke up at 3am to head to the airport for 30 hours in London to explore (neither Asher nor Max had ever been to Europe) and visit our Seattle friends (who are British and moved back a few years ago). We had hoped the kids would sleep on the plane (they did not) so we could hit the ground running (which we did). We checked into the Westin City of London. Our friends planned a whirlwind tour of London to see the Globe Theater, Tate Modern, eat fish and chips lunch, Eye of London, walk around Big Ben / Parliament, Buckingham Palace, Horse Guards, SoHo, and a Dinner/snack at the Ivey. We were supposed to do a pub crawl but the kids’ feet hurt as we had already walked about 9 miles – so we had to forgo the pubs. London (at least the downtown core where we were) is idyllic. No homeless, no trash, tons of people walking, all of the stores are open, and it is super (with the Pound having dropped to ~1.25USD). The food is definitely not as good as Israel (even the kids noticed). But the people are a lot more accommodating – and less pushy.
After a good sleep, we had a brunch at Balthazar and brief visit to the British Museum to see some Egyptian, Assyrian, and Greek artifacts before saying goodbye to our friends and returning home
Why not a “typical” Bar Mitzvah in Seattle? And other context.
A number of reasons drove us in this direction. Like our wedding, we tend to like to create our own path for important events. Additionally, after no Hebrew school for 2 years (thanks to covid) and a switch to a more traditional/conservative synagogue, a potentially large guestlist, not wanting to fight with Asher about studying, and others, we thought “reducing scope” and spending the money on a special trip would be a much better experience all around. So we invited family and friends along.
Finding the right time to go, with various family members on different school schedules, was challenging – so we opted for an April trip over spring break (which happens to be a great weather window before the heat of summer, but with typically nice comfortable weather, and after the cooling and rains of winter) – we managed to get the right week to enable others to overlap with their vacations and our kids missed 6 days of school. Of course, this year those weeks overlapped Passover, Palm Sunday, Easter, and Ramadan – which created planning challenges as we worked around when to be in core areas and around Israeli’s own vacation time.
Of course, as the trip approached, our bank (SVB) was possessed by the FDIC, Brian’s company hit troubles because of it, Israel experienced extreme political turmoil leading to protests and the brief closure of the airports, and a close family member unexpectedly died.
By some miracle, we were able to do it – and everyone on the trip remained healthy and happy the whole time – and all got along incredibly.
Surprises [Work In Progress]
[TBD]
Learnings / what we wish could have been different? [Work in Progress]
- More break time, more down time in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv to explore, more relaxation time in warmer areas, more time to explore off the beaten path in Petra (although not everyone would have wanted this), but this would have been traded off against more exploring so . . .
- Not traveling over Passover when many restaurants were closed or had limited menus.
- More adult time
Planning notes [Work in Progress]
We opted for clean and comfortable, but not luxury hotels. Worked with our budget, but others may prefer cheaper or more luxurious options. Of course, given the peak holiday time, capacity and prices were particularly challenging. We also needed hotels with “family rooms” which aren’t common.
Finding a tour guide that can mesh with your group’s style is critical.
Asher’s D’var Torah
Welcome to my Bar Mitzvah. I really appreciate all of my family, friends, and even my brother Max, for traveling so far for my special day here in Jerusalem at the kotel.
Today is an incredible day. I have prepared long and hard for this day and I have much to be thankful for, most importantly for my parents bringing us here to this day.
I’d like to teach a little bit about my Torah portion which we just read and which is read on the holiday of Passover. It speaks about the Israelites escaping Egypt after 430 years of slavery. We also learn about the establishment of the Holy days of Passover, the holiday that we are about to celebrate. For 7 days during the holiday of Passover we are not to eat leavened bread because we remember our family’s who fled Egypt and did not have time to let their bread rise when they escaped.
Right before the Israelites were sent to their freedom, God smote all the firstborn Egyptians with the 10th and final plague, the killing of the first born. . It was the most horrific plague of them all! What was God’s goal with this? How could God possibly kill so many innocent children? There may not be a good answer to this question. {PAUSE}
Could this action by God have been in retribution for the horrible deeds of Pharoah and the Egyptians over the hundreds of years of slavery? Perhaps, God needed to prove a great point to the Egyptians and to the world. Maybe, God needed to show to the world that it is NOT OK to stand by and watch while a part of their society, the Israelites, were being oppressed and made into slaves. It was not OK for a human ruler, Pharoah, to kill all the male children of the Israelites. It was not OK to strip all the Israelites of their freedom and dignity just because he wanted free labor.
So I wondered, how does the experience of the Israelites escaping Egypt then, affect our thoughts about freedom today? And, what are the lessons for us today from this holiday.
MY top 5 thoughts are:
- Treat everyone as an equal.
- Do not oppress those weaker or poorer – for your benefit.
- Be an upstander, not a bystander. If you see something, speak up!
- Keep on asking questions, if something doesn’t make sense to you, others also probably have questions.
- Make sure to eat extra matzah!
Thank you again for participating in my Bar Mitzvah!
Brian and Kara’s Speech to Asher
Asher,
You did it. With lots of great practice and dedication, and despite a tiny bit of complaining, you are now a Bar Mitzvah. We are excited to be here to celebrate with you and our family and friends (who made this huge trip) as you become an adult.
13 years ago at your bris, we gave you your name, noting that the biblical Asher was “regarded as the example of a virtuous man who with a single-mindedness strives only for the general good.” We also wished for you to live a “life dedicated to happiness, wisdom, and greater good. To be curious and choose your path and follow your passions. And to not forget that you are a son, cousin, nephew, friend, and participant in the broader community and world.” In fact, when we chose to have your Bar Mitzvah in Israel your only wish was to have all your cousins with you, which shows how caring you are and how important family is to you.
You came into this world marching to your own beat. And you continue this, paying homage to your namesake with a tremendous heart, an unshakeable sense of justice, and an intellect and curiosity that is uniquely you.
We’re seeing this now. You’re in the process of defining who you are, how you’ll be, what impact you want to have on the world. We’ve seen immense growth in you, even in these last six months. During a recent surfing lesson, you made such an impression on the instructor that he told us not only that you were a great surfer, but also taught him interesting facts about waves and how nature enables you to surf.
Your work with special needs kids at Friendship Circle demonstrates your innate desire for Tikkun Olam, to “Repair the World.” Everytime Friendship Circle has an event they beg you to come help out because you show so much kindness and thoughtfulness.
It is fitting that your Torah portion talks about justice – as we’ve mentioned, you’ve always had a strong sense of this and how important it is to follow directions but also to speak up when you see injustice.
On this special occasion, and in the interest of keeping it brief, we, your parents, have three wishes for you as you look to your future in this rapidly changing world:
- Knowledge isn’t the end. Having the drive to acquire it and knowing how to utilize it is the hard part.
- Pushing your creativity and maintaining awareness of perspective is far more important than knowing things.
- Take care of both your body and mind – and remember who you are, where you came from, and who your family and real friends are.
Thank you all for joining us, and a special thank you to Asher’s tutor Jason, Herzl’s Hebrew school, and Rabbi Stacey for supporting Asher as he prepared for this milestone.
Essay by Max: Floating the Dead Sea
“Whoo-Hoo!” I thought as I boarded the bus “After several days in Israel I am finally going to the Dead Sea!” When I got off the bus, I crossed the road and immediately went to the changing room. After I got into my bathing-suit, I waited for what seemed like 30 minutes for the rest of my family to change. Finally everyone was ready and I got to get into the Dead Sea for the first time ever!
The Dead Sea didn’t look like what I thought it would look like. since the Dead Sea is 30% salt I thought it would have salt chunks floating around, but it didn’t. I was also wrong about when I got in, I thought I would feel a force pushing me upward due to all the salt. However, I felt no force! I then saw my mom floating by on her back with no effort. So, I thought maybe that would work for me. I tried it. It worked, I was floating too! I rolled over to my stomach, still floating! The thought suddenly occurred to me that I should go further out until my feet could no longer touch the ground. I swam further out towards Jordan. I rotated my body so it looked like I was standing up straight on the ground, but I was actually floating!
After we all floated for a while we got out of the water. My parents had procured dead sea mud to put on our skin. I grabbed some and began to apply it everywhere and it felt weird. It felt like I had added an extra layer of skin but a little different. I don’t know how to really describe the weird feeling or weird smell. As we stood out in the sun it began to dry on our skin and we knew it was time to get it off. So we all went to the outdoor showers and began to wash it off. It took a long time to get all my mud off and I had to really scrub.
My friend, Eli, and I then went to an outdoor workout area (they have lots of these in Israel) on the beach next to the Dead Sea. We did situps, pullups and lots of weights. After we grew tired, we boarded the bus to go back to our hotel to sleep and pack up our stuff to go to Jordan the next day.
It was a great day and I hope I get to go back to the Dead Sea again!